The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
