I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
