took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
