Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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