I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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