party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
