We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
