Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
