so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
