I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
