when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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