Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
