If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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