Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
