dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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