I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Buhtt sex?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
