I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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