apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
