So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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