were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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