Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
