This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
