I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
