i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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