His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
