I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
