he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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