The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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