Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
