I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
