found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
