You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
