Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
