What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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