I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
