Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
