Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
