Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
