so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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