So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
