i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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