Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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