I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
