I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
