If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
