Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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