We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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