porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
