On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We're like a lot better than the average bears
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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