Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
