i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
