I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
porn star boner night. come get it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
