we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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