I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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