Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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